Something is Happening, But I Don’t Know What It Is, Part I

I’m having a hard time having sex with Brad. He’s having a hard time having sex with me too.

I wonder if I’m becoming celibate. I wonder if he’s becoming celibate.

No… I know that’s not true.

I’m having a hard time having sex with Ben too, but it’s a different kind of hard. It’s not the “I love you like a sister, but I’m just not that into you sexually” kind of hard, like it is with Brad.

It’s the “oh, no, no, no – NO! We cannot go there” kind of hard. The kind of hard where you know you’re on the verge of something immaculate, but you don’t want to look because you’re afraid it will blind you.

Brad and I have also had some out-of-this-world sex in the last 6 months, but it’s so much harder to get in the mood for it.

Ben is to Brad what DMT is to Ayahuasca – a short cut to ecstasy. The term “short cut” has gotten a bad rap, but Terrence McKenna said if Mother Earth offers you one, why not take it and break on through to the other side?

There are elves and fairies there who have a message for us on the other side. They’re saying “hey, we’re over here! Come through the wardrobe! It’s beautiful over here! The grass really is greener. Be here now.

Have to pick up Nora now actually.

Just pissed Brad off by telling him I’ll be waiting for him on the “other side,” after he told me to get out of his room, because he’s sick and thought I was coming in for sex.

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