Satiating Sexual Hunger

I wrote my last couple of posts (here and here) from a place of sexual scarcity (which is the state I now believe long-term monogamy will lead most people to). But since then – in the last seven days – I have satisfied all my sexual longings (at least for the moment) with the help … [Read more…]

Osho and Bonobos

Another blogger recently wrote a post critiquing my post about my newfound kinship with bonobos. He seemed to have trouble reconciling my sometimes-animalistic sexual urges with my quest for a deeper spiritual experience. He said it was ironic that I frequently quote Osho, throughout my blog, as a teacher of sexual freedom. He claims Osho … [Read more…]

Family Date Night

Life is beautiful, I thought, as Brad and Nora and I snuggled in an extra large loveseat at the movie theater last night. Really, really beautiful. And I really felt it, in every cell of my body. The Kratom tea might’ve helped, but I felt as if time stood still as we nested together, our … [Read more…]

I Am Bonobo Woman, Hear Me Moan

“Bonobo Woman,” “hedonist,” “pervert,” “selfish,” “narcissistic,” “delusional,” “lunatic,” “whining hippy,” “human blow-up doll,” and mother of an “illegitimate” future “whore”… These are all names I was called simply for asserting I was sexually dissatisfied and questioning the naturalness of monogamy. I guess I should’ve expected this kind of reaction from the socially conservative audience of … [Read more…]

The Myth of the Coy Female and The Origins of Slut Shaming

Hysteria and Nymphomania Dear female readers, have you ever suffered from “anxiety, sleeplessness, irritability, nervousness, erotic fantasy, sensations of heaviness in the abdomen or vaginal lubrication?” Have no fear, you’re probably just suffering from – get this – hysteria. Nevermind that your symptoms are identical to those of sexual frustration, if you had asked for … [Read more…]

Eating My Cake

I’ve been focusing a lot on the importance of freedom lately. I just want to quickly acknowledge the value of security as well. I feel so lucky and blessed (in a non-religious way) to have this new-found freedom to explore relationships/connections with untold numbers of people and simultaneously to have the security, familiarity and comfort … [Read more…]

Marriage is Codependence

My boyfriend – Brad – came across this article recently about how to restore passion to your marriage by overcoming codependency. He seemed excited about it, as if it could be the solution to all of our problems. Interdependence – not codependence – is the key to a happy, lasting marriage, says the psychologist author … [Read more…]

New Relationship Energy and Slut Shaming

Elated, ashamed, ecstatic, depressed, blissful, afraid… I felt all of those emotions almost simultaneously when I woke up in another man’s arms yesterday morning. Yes, it happened. The deed is done. I had sex with another man. It was so much more than that, but that seems to be all our culture cares about – … [Read more…]

And it Begins…

A Kindred Spirit After about a month of ignoring them, I decided to check my OkCupid messages. I was feeling antsy and craving a new connection. Not expecting to find anything worthwhile, I sifted through the “heys” and “what’s ups” and “well, hello theres”… Just as I was about to give up, I opened one … [Read more…]

The Death of Marriage

I have to admit, even Brad and I suffered from short bouts of wedding fever when we first met. Shortly after we started dating, he left town for an old friend’s wedding. He called me drunk during the reception and started ranting about how much cooler his wedding was going to be someday. “I’m going … [Read more…]