July 4, 2017
Brad just had sex with a fourth girl-friend of mine tonight, the 4th of July, our 7th anniversary. As always I have mixed feelings about it.
Ultimately I’m grateful for every sexual escapade he’s had in the last 3 years, as each one helps him learn more about himself, which makes him a more authentic version of himself and gives him a greater capacity for intimacy.
But each one comes with it’s temporary challenges.
Right now I feel “meh” or dissatisfied I guess you could say, but I don’t know why.
I guess his evening of intercourse with Maggie wasn’t as “climactic” as I’ve been craving.
A few days ago I overheard him accidentally call his young, attractive employee, Emma, “baby” at a hippie festival we were working on our food truck. When he said “oops, I didn’t mean to call you that,” she said “I like it when you call me baby.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I thought. “I was not supposed to hear that.” I backed away from the truck just as I was about to step in.
I stood back and listened for a minute. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I could hear her laughing at his jokes and could tell it was flirtatious. I waited a few minutes before I stepped back on to say good bye and that I was going to drive our daughter home.
They had changed the subject by then and were trying to play it cool in front of me, but the sexual tension was as thick as the hot, humid air.
The smirk on her face was as telling as her short, cut-off jean shorts and her bra-less cleavage glistening with sweat under her low-cut, spaghetti-strap top. Her long, loose blonde braid rested over her shoulder and her blue eyes had a devious, yet innocent glimmer.
A Southern girl-next door, she was gritty, hard-working, sweet, honest and hot.
On the drive home, I daydreamed about them closing up the truck together… of him spinning her around in the middle of washing dishes to kiss her ferociously… I pictured him lifting her up on the counter, pressing her back against the wall and mounting her there. I pictured her riding him in ecstasy, running her fingers through his hair.
Or maybe they’d wander off into the woods after their shift, strip down to their underwear and swim together in the river. They did this once in real life… but this time I imagined they would conquer their girl-meets-boy fears and end up rolling around on the river bank until he exhausted her.
I was sure one scenario or the other would come true, but Brad later confirmed it hadn’t. He did say she have him all three signs that “it was on” though – eye contact, smile and touch.
July 13, 2017
Still trying to figure out why Brad’s connection with Maggie wasn’t as satisfying as the connection I fantasized about him having with Emma. I think I have a piece of the answer.
Just like his sexual escapade with my friend Nina a few months ago, his connection with Maggie didn’t seem to have much juice in it. It was lacking romance — obstacle, build-up, suspense, climax, dénouement. It was just two horny people, who in any other circumstance couldn’t stand each other, who found temporary relief from the stress of life in each others’ bodies.
Neither Nina nor Maggie were interested in connecting with him sexually again — though one said the chemistry was strong and the other said the sex was good — without strings attached. Nina wants a man who can both provide for all her material desires and fulfill all her sexual fantasies. Maggie wants a man who will do the dishes and laundry exactly as she instructs him to and then dominate and dazzle her in bed.
I’ve tried gently explaining to both of them that it’s pretty much impossible to have all those contradictory needs met by one man, but they’re both still on the hunt for Mr. Everything.
What was nice about Emily, at least in my fantasy anyway, is that she wanted Brad just for him. Even if her interest in him was “just” sexual, at least it wasn’t sexual with strings attached.