July 27, 11:30 pm
By day, he brings out the worst and ugliest in me – bitterness, competitiveness, argumentativeness and cutting sarcasm.
But by night, under just the right amount of moonlight, he brings to life the deadest parts of my soul. My ice melts. My edges soften. My body takes form against his.
I get high off his smell. My body moves in magnetic waves, pulling me closer and closer to him, rolling and crashing me helplessly into him until we evaporate.
August 1, noon
It happened. Ben and I had our quarterly reunion. I’d told Brad a week before that I wanted to have sex with Ben again. He was upset at first, but after a few hours said – “Fine, I don’t care. Go for it.”
I knew he wasn’t fine with it, but he’d been with my friend Maggie the 4th of July, had a lot of fun with her, and said it helped him understand my craving for sex with other men.
I waited around a week or so to feel out Brad’s feelings about it, before seizing the perfect opportunity Saturday night (July 29). I lay with Nora until she fell asleep, rolled her over to cuddle with her sleeping dad, and snuck out into Ben’s room.
Brad hates it when I do this, as it feels like it’s done “secretly” or “behind his back,” but I haven’t figured out a better way to do it. What am I going to do? Wait ’til we’re done with dinner and say “hey, Brad, do you mind if Ben and I go fuck in the other room while you get Nora ready for bed?”
I’ve asked the guys a million times for a threesome — specifying that they didn’t even have to touch each other — so neither of them would feel excluded, but neither of them will agree to it.
So I crawled into bed with Ben and cuddled him until he became erect. He resisted an resisted for over an hour, saying he only wanted to cuddle, but every time I got close to falling asleep, I was awoken by his pitiful moaning and his penis gently thrusting between my legs from behind.
Tired of his ridiculous game, I rolled him over and sat myself right down on top of him, pushing down on his chest as I wriggled my wet, throbbing vagina down onto his Pinocchio penis.
He put his hands above his head in surrender, beckoning me to pin down his wrists, as I always do.
He couldn’t go more than 10 seconds at a time without begging me to stop so he wouldn’t come. So I would ride him for 10 seconds and then pause for 10 seconds before forcing my way back down his shaft. After about 10 rounds of this he threw me off of him and announced “I’m coming.” I dove in to suck and swallow so his vital energy wouldn’t be wasted.
I was disappointed it didn’t last longer, but it was enough to awaken the insatiable beast inside me.
Brad didn’t react nearly as badly as I’d imagined the next morning, so I went back in for more the following night. But Ben was back to his normal grumpy old man self, saying he definitely didn’t want to have sex, but that I could rub his back while he watched a stupid TV show to help him fall asleep.
I asked him the next day point blank why he so rarely wanted to have sex with me these days. I was certain it was because he didn’t want to make his friendship awkward with Brad, because I could clearly tell he enjoyed himself on the few occasions he couldn’t resist.
He said yes, he enjoyed it, but not enough to make it worth the consequences. When I asked what consequences, he gave me some vague answer about how Brad and I act toward him over the following days. He was being super obscure and when I pressed him further he got frustrated and said he didn’t want to talk about it. From what I could gather, he’s afraid I’ll fall in love with him and doesn’t want to be “interrogated” by Brad or I about his feelings for me.
So I backed off and he’s back to being a grumpy jerk to me ever since. Woo hoo!