Fighting in Isolation

Just wanted to quickly complain about how much fighting sucks in the isolated, co-dependent context of monogamy. I can only imagine how much smoother fights between romantic partners would go and how much more quickly issues would be resolved in the context of a polyamorous village. I’m sure some of you think that sounds nuts, … [Read more…]

Satiating Sexual Hunger

I wrote my last couple of posts (here and here) from a place of sexual scarcity (which is the state I now believe long-term monogamy will lead most people to). But since then – in the last seven days – I have satisfied all my sexual longings (at least for the moment) with the help … [Read more…]

Osho and Bonobos

Another blogger recently wrote a post critiquing my post about my newfound kinship with bonobos. He seemed to have trouble reconciling my sometimes-animalistic sexual urges with my quest for a deeper spiritual experience. He said it was ironic that I frequently quote Osho, throughout my blog, as a teacher of sexual freedom. He claims Osho … [Read more…]

Family Date Night

Life is beautiful, I thought, as Brad and Nora and I snuggled in an extra large loveseat at the movie theater last night. Really, really beautiful. And I really felt it, in every cell of my body. The Kratom tea might’ve helped, but I felt as if time stood still as we nested together, our … [Read more…]

I Am Bonobo Woman, Hear Me Moan

“Bonobo Woman,” “hedonist,” “pervert,” “selfish,” “narcissistic,” “delusional,” “lunatic,” “whining hippy,” “human blow-up doll,” and mother of an “illegitimate” future “whore”… These are all names I was called simply for asserting I was sexually dissatisfied and questioning the naturalness of monogamy. I guess I should’ve expected this kind of reaction from the socially conservative audience of … [Read more…]

The Myth of the Coy Female and The Origins of Slut Shaming

Hysteria and Nymphomania Dear female readers, have you ever suffered from “anxiety, sleeplessness, irritability, nervousness, erotic fantasy, sensations of heaviness in the abdomen or vaginal lubrication?” Have no fear, you’re probably just suffering from – get this – hysteria. Nevermind that your symptoms are identical to those of sexual frustration, if you had asked for … [Read more…]

Eating My Cake

I’ve been focusing a lot on the importance of freedom lately. I just want to quickly acknowledge the value of security as well. I feel so lucky and blessed (in a non-religious way) to have this new-found freedom to explore relationships/connections with untold numbers of people and simultaneously to have the security, familiarity and comfort … [Read more…]

Marriage is Codependence

My boyfriend – Brad – came across this article recently about how to restore passion to your marriage by overcoming codependency. He seemed excited about it, as if it could be the solution to all of our problems. Interdependence – not codependence – is the key to a happy, lasting marriage, says the psychologist author … [Read more…]