Civilization is Killing Me… How Do I Get Back to Paradise?

Aaaaaahhh…. Wheels are spinning… I don’t know what to write… This probably isn’t the appropriate place to write a blog post like this, but I don’t care. I could write it on my other blog site – – but it doesn’t have advertising, and I don’t have any money to pay anyone to set advertising up.

You might be wondering why I care about advertising – as I’ve already been accused by several of – wait for it – trying to make money on my blog. I know, it’s a crime. “Why would someone think they deserve to make money on a blog? Get in line and get a job like the rest of us. Work… hard… or you’re useless to the civilized world.” Well, truth is, I don’t think I “deserve” to make money “whining and complaining” about what’s wrong with the world, or  “bragging” about it when things are going right in my personal polyamorous life. I don’t think most of us deserve to make money for the stupid, destructive crap we do for a “living.”

office-spaceMore importantly, I don’t think I should have to make money. I hate money. I’ve hated it since I was a child. What were these stupid pieces of paper my dad went to work for and my mom fought with him over? What were these plastic cards that everyone freaked out about when they got lost? And now I wonder, why did we need to have them to eat? Why should anyone have to go out and slave away at a job they hate, for a boss they hate, for an industry they hate, under fluorescent lighting that they hate, just so they can put food in their f**king mouths?? (I can’t use the real word f**k or my ads might get taken down again).

pottery-barn-bedroom2The truth is they don’t. No one has to work for the Man 60+ hours per week to feed themselves. They work like that so they can have a roof over their heads. But not just any roof – a quarter million dollar roof – with shingles and siding and drywall and floors and heat and ventilation that are all up to code (or they’ll go to jail) and carpet and petroleum Tempurpedic beds (I’ll admit mine’s pretty comfortable) and the latest style of bedding, towels and bath curtains… a fancy dishwasher, stove, fridge, washer and dryer (which are necessary for our 5 million outfits)… a separate bedroom just to store all of the plastic junk our relatives keep sending to our kids (and that we occasionally cave into buying)… the lawnmower we waste our few leisure hours pushing around, cutting down the little bit of nature we have left… the $20,000 car (along with gas, insurance, repairs and speeding tickets, to keep the empire afloat) that we need to get to our miserable jobs and the grocery store… which brings me to groceries… if you don’t spend the majority of your money on high quality food, you can count on spending it on health insurance… you get the picture… the list of unnecessary products and services goes on and on.

It makes me wonder what I really need, or, more importantly, what I really want and am willing to work for. How much crap am I willing to go to work for? Take for instance my house. The rent is $1400 a month. We have a roommate, so that helps, but man, that’s a lot of combined work hours, because money really doesn’t grow on trees. MoneyTree

I don’t know how far I want to take my journey toward primitive living. There’s a lot of fear of the unknown – of a lifestyle that my ancestors haven’t lived for nearly 10,000 years, and that only a few tribes remaining on the planet have been able to sustain, thanks to civilization squeezing them into ever smaller boxes. But I want to start heading in that direction. Because, contrary to my old capitalist friends’ beliefs, making a lot of money is not the quickest way to freedom. It’s the quickest way to slavery, or at best, profiting off the slavish labor of others. I’m not into that.

So I guess my only other choice – even though it’s a terrifying transition – is to get rid of the crap, stop buying more crap and live closer to nature… learn to take my living from the earth and give myself back to it, as opposed to “making a living” by destroying it.

meditation1I’m pretty sure I won’t make it back a totally carefree lifestyle within my lifetime, but it’s worth moving toward. About two years ago, I learned from teachers like Osho and Alan Watts that the key to bliss is living in the moment, in the present. But I’ve struggled to implement the teaching. I find myself truly present in the moment a handful of times each week – usually in the middle of an org*sm (that word might throw off the ads) – but I spend the majority of my days worried about the future and regretting the past.

The Hadza of Tanzania – the most ancient lineage of hunter-gatherers to still roam the earth – seem to have it figured out. Here’s what a photographer said about them:

img-6602-original-ed_gallery_large“Most of all though, what marks my time with the Hadza is how happy they seem. In their language, there is no word for ‘worry.’ For the Hadza, the concept of ‘worrying’ is something that is related to either the future or to the past. Following their ancestral ways, they truly live in the moment. When focusing on daily survival is the most natural thing to do, there is no need for chakra alignment to get yourself centered, or mindfulness courses to experience the here and now.”

And also the Mbuti Pygmies of Central Africa. They are described in the book Origins as follows:

“Try to imagine a way of life where land, shelter and food are free, and where there are no leaders, bosses, politics, organized crime, taxes, or laws. Add to this the benefits of being part of asociety where everything is shared, where there are no rich people, and where happiness does not mean the accumulation of material possessions.


… The Mbuti have never domesticated animals or planted crops …


The Mbuti believe that by A CORRECT FULFILLMENT OF THE PRESENT, the past and future will take care of themselves. Primitive people do not live through memories, and generally have no interest in birthdays or measuring their ages. As for the future, they have little desire to control what does not yet exist, just as they have little desire to control nature. Their moment-by-moment joining with the flux and flow of the natural world does not preclude an awareness of the seasons, but this does not constitute an alienated TIME CONSCIOUSNESS THAT ROBS THEM OF THE PRESENT.”

Picking wild berries. At the Hadza camp of Senkele.


I don’t know about you, but the idea of picking berries all day and making love all night is sounding more and more appealing. I mean just look at these pictures, they’re making me feel better already, like there’s hope for humanity:





This one just kills me. How many dads, or moms for that matter, have time to play with their babies like this? How many of them are actually in the mood after a long day of work to genuinely laugh and play with their kids, rather than yell at them, which I so often find myself doing?



Autosave-File vom d-lab2/3 der AgfaPhoto GmbH


Isak takes a break while hunting. Near the Hadza camp of Dedauko.

I wonder if the Hadza accept new members… If so, where do I sign up?


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