Brad went on his second big date last night. He’s been on a handful, but this is the second one I’ve perceived him to be really excited about. He’s been talking to a lady – we’ll call her Erin – for a couple of months on the internet. They were supposed to go on a date a few weeks ago, but her kid got sick and she lives about an hour away.
He hasn’t told me any details yet – saying he’s not giving me “any material” for my blog, but I got the gist of it from the look on his face after she left – happy : )
Just after she walked out the door, Brad kicked up his feet, closed his eyes and turned up his face for a quick kiss. “Ha! Sloppy seconds!” he bragged, laughing, as if he’d pulled one over on me. I can’t tell you how cute it was.
I’ll drag more out of him tomorrow (it’s 5 a.m., my usual writing time), but he summarized their date as “really good,” and responded “yes” to all my questions like “Was it fun? Was she easy to talk to? Did you feel like you could be yourself?” (And of course, this is exactly why he remains vague – I’m too nosy and have too big of a mouth : )
Before I realized how awkward it would be, I offered to babysit Erin’s kids a few weeks ago, for their first scheduled date. She politely declined saying she likes to meet anyone who’s going watch her kids beforehand. “Of course. Duh, Sara. Way to creep her out. Why would you say that?” I said to myself, immediately regretting typing before thinking.
But I guess being my facebook friend over the course of the next few weeks, and realizing we had a ton in common, made her feel comfortable enough to give it a try.
So, as strange as it seems, she was greeted at the door by her date’s girlfriend and child, while Brad was getting ready. I tried not to focus on how bizarre she might think this was and to act natural. Brad came out about 30 seconds later, I grabbed three glasses of wine, and we all sat in the living room making small talk as we watched the kids attempt to share toys and acclimate to one another.
After about 15 minutes of me talking too much, Brad swept her away for a walk through West Asheville to scope out a restaurant. They settled on a nice one he’d been wanting to try since we moved here. About three hours later, they came back saying they’d had a lot of fun and the best food on this side of town. I told them the kids had a blast together, and after 10 or 15 minutes, Erin packed hers up for the drive home.
I guess they’d both been playing it cool, because I couldn’t read them and wasn’t sure how the date had gone, until she left and Brad sat smiling contentedly on the couch. Apparently they’d “made out” on the porch before coming in, Brad was proud to report.
I didn’t press him to talk much before bed. I know he can only handle so much “girl conversation” in one day. But I assume (and hope) they’ll go out again.
I still can’t explain my fascination with the idea of Brad dating, having sex with and potentially developing emotional attachment to other women. It’s almost more exciting than the thought of me dating, having sex with and developing emotional attachment to other men. But I think it has something to do with seeing Brad in a new light. There is something so refreshing and rejuvenating about seeing him come alive with new romance. I don’t feel like anything has been taken from me. I feel like new energy is being added and new life is being created.
I think it also helps remind me that he and I are separate, whole people, not halves of each other. It causes me to cherish my time and experience with him, rather than taking it for granted and falling into an ungrateful rut. It opens me and stretches me and shows me that we are all full, complete people, who don’t need to cling to and suck the life out of each other, but who can bump into and connect with many others, who show us all the different angles and facets of ourselves.