Like I started to say yesterday, Ben is back. Don’t ask me how I know. It’s just a gut feeling.
He came over for lunch with Brad, our daughter Nora, and I on Saturday. Lunch turned into swimming at they gym, and the gym turned into dinner. Well, more like dinner-time snacks. He was holding out for a real dinner with Marlena later that night.
Apparently he’d bought some ribs and asked her to cook them, like a real married couple. Only they aren’t married and never have been. They were together for 5 years back in Minnesota, before she left him and came here to Asheville.
When she left, she told Ben it’s because she wanted to have an open relationship. She just needed a little time to find herself first.
But really, she’d already found a man here in Asheville.
Within days of her arrival, she wrote back to Ben and told him she’d fallen for someone else, and no longer wanted to be in a relationship with him.
A couple of weeks later, she learned she was pregnant with Ben’s baby.
Because Ben was no longer the apple of her eye, she aborted his baby, and then immediately got pregnant with Joseph’s baby.
A few months later, Ben arrived in Asheville, despite being replaced by another man, ready to help in anyway he could.
Fast forward 4 years and Ben is like an uncle to Marlena and Joseph’s son.
Though Marlena’s never given him more than a wink of physical affection in almost 5 years, Ben follows her around like a lost puppy dog, her loyal and faithful servant.
Because she occasionally looks deeply into his eyes, and even less frequently gives him a hug, she has him wrapped around her little finger.
When she says speak, he speaks. When she says roll over, he rolls over. She is his master, and he her slave.
I’ve often been jealous of the power she has over him. It’s the same power he has over me.
However, my moon sign is Virgo, the same as his beloved Marlena’s sun sign. So I have some of the same qualities that dominate Marlena’s personality in the shadow side of mine, which is probably what attracted him to me.
Back to Saturday. It was the first time he spent more than 10 minutes with me in the six months since we moved into our camper, and he moved back in with Joseph and Marlena.
Apparently, he interpreted Brad and I deciding to move into a camper as us “kicking him to the curb.”
I saw it as a transitional step to communal living. In my mind it was not a goodbye, but the beginning of a future I figured he’d eventually join me in.
I can see how he found that hard to believe, as I was talking about traveling the continent and settling in the first permaculture community that felt like home.
But my subconscious understood what I had to do. My heart understood that I had to take a journey away from him in order to get him to chase after me. But as they always do, my journey led me back home, to Asheville.
And as long as my heart is in Asheville, a good chunk of it will belong to him.
I don’t know what caused him to eventually forgive me and come back around, but I can tell he’s still in love with me, no matter how adamantly he tries to deny it.
His eyes and the electricity emanating from his body tell the truth, unlike his lying mouth.
The fact that I can grab both his and Brad’s thighs, in the same place, at the same time, without Brad being fazed and with Ben practically jumping out of his pants, speaks louder than words.
I could smell his unwashed pheromones from across the room screaming out my name.
But with all his hormones raging and his biochemical electric charge buzzing, he kept his desire under gentlemanly wraps for the sake of his best friend Brad, all while sanding away at the cabinet door he’s fixing for us.
He let me massage his back, if only for a moment, and he didn’t pull away when I went to hug him goodbye.
Now he’s waiting patiently, biding his time, until Brad is ready and the moment is perfect for us to reunite.
When we do reunite, I can only imagine it will feel like the 4th of July… like someone setting a match to 10,000 sticks of dynamite locked away in a cave for 10,000 years.
I’m in no hurry, and neither is he. The longer we wait, the bigger the explosion 😉