Four years later, Brad and I have each experienced the ecstasy of falling in love with someone new and the trauma of watching each other go through that process.
First I had a “boyfriend” named “Ben” for almost 2 years, forcing Brad to hang on for the emotional ride, and shortly after he and I parted ways, Brad got his first poly girlfriend “Rose,” which nearly killed me emotionally and left me begging to return to monogamy.
Talk about a taste of my own medicine.
Now 8 years in, Brad and I consider ourselves “monogamish.” We don’t want to tie the knot and put ourselves on lockdown, for fear it will make us want to escape, but I am not ready for Brad to have any kind of “girlfriend” other than me for the foreseeable future.
I still believe monogamy is “unnatural” in the sense that it seems to be our basic, natural instinct to seek out sexual novelty. But I also believe it’s possible to evolve into a sort of spiritual monogamy or “marriage” with a soulmate-type figure.
Part of me longs for that monogamous soul-mate connection now. And part of me wonders if we’ll ever reach a state of emotional and spiritual maturity, where we won’t need to cling to a soulmate to make us feel complete… where when we connect with a person, or people, it’s out of a sense of celebration of the beauty of life rather than out of a needy sense of clinging.
Anyway, I’ll keep you updated month to month and year to year. I am currently working on editing my diary entries into a book and compiling a behind-the-scenes audiobook.
For access to secret diary posts and more photos, become a sponsor on Patreon OR make a one-time donation of any amount on PayPal, private message me on Facebook letting me know, and I’ll send you the password.