Sea of Love: Brad, Ben and June

I’ve been advised to stop writing stupid, vague titles for my diary entries, but the Cat Power song “Sea of Love” immediately came to mind just now, at 3:30 in the morning, the first chance I’ve gotten to sit down and write about the life I’ve been living lately. It’s always hard to find time … [Read more…]

OK Alone, and I Love You

I’m alone tonight. And I’m ok with it. Sure, I panicked for a split second when I realized I’d be spending the evening with me, myself and a 4-year-old… but I took a deep breath, let the momentary pangs of exclusion stab me, and reminded myself that alone time is good. I’ve spent all week … [Read more…]

The Loneliness of Monogamy

Ben left to go “home” for holidays yesterday. Only two days without him have reminded how lonely monogamy is. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been glad to have some alone time with Brad. He and I have actually been getting along beautifully the last couple of days. We spent all day together today – philosophizing, … [Read more…]

Calling Ben’s Bluff

“I know Ben says he’s not in love with me and doesn’t want to have sex with me, but he is and he does,” I insisted to one of my best girlfriends, Audrey, when she came to visit a week ago. “He won’t admit it to anyone, not even himself, but no one else sees … [Read more…]