The Moment

“What if being polyamorous makes us realize we want to be monogamous?” Brad asked me the other day. “Then I’ll consider it a success.” I said. The fact is, I’ll consider our journey into polyamory a success no matter where it takes us. I went on my first date since Brad the other night. It … [Read more…]

The Reason

“You’re going to bed already?” I complained, as I prepared to read our 3-year-old a bedtime story across the hall. It was my not-so-veiled solicitation for sex. I was nearing ovulation and in the mood. I knew Brad was rarely in the mood at nighttime – unlike me, he’s a morning person – but I … [Read more…]

The Make-Up

I was afraid this entry might be titled “The Breakup.” But what was one of our most painful fights ended up bringing us closer. After ignoring Brad for two days, we finally sat down and talked. He told me he hadn’t meant the things he’d said the day of our fight — “maybe we don’t … [Read more…]

The Fight

Brad and I aren’t speaking right now. He told me this morning he’s not in love with me. He just told me he “really does love me” last week, so I don’t know which one is a lie. Regardless, I’ve spent all afternoon searching for a job. Even if he changes his mind again tomorrow, … [Read more…]

The Fear

I spent the last hour or so lying next to Brad, face nuzzled into his back, arms wrapped as tightly around his chest as I could hold them. He resisted at first, but after I produced a few tears and sniffles, he gave in and let me have my way. I needed it. I know … [Read more…]

The Wait

First, an update on Brad’s date with Kitty – it’s been rescheduled for tonight! It won’t be at a fancy restaurant, as he’d planned, because he has to work. Instead, he’ll be preparing her “the best meal of her life” on his food truck. After that, they’ll probably grab a few beers at the brewery … [Read more…]

The Date

3 a.m., The Night Before The Date Can’t sleep. So I’ll start where I left off. While I was waiting for Brad to come out of the strip club a couple of nights ago, I messaged Kitty: “I would be so thrilled if you’d let Brad take you out to a fancy dinner sometime! You’d … [Read more…]

The Dancer

“Hey Sara,” I heard a woman’s voice say and felt her hand on my shoulder. “Oh no,” my heart stopped. I wasn’t expecting to see anyone I knew here. Brad and I had chosen a table near the front of the room, but not so close to the stage that we’d seem creepy. “It’s me, … [Read more…]

The Backstory

I figured I better post this pretty quickly after my first entry to clear up any confusion. Brad and I were a totally normal, typical couple up until recently. We’d both moved to Raleigh for jobs after college. We lived in a high-rise apartment building downtown. I was on the fourth floor – he was … [Read more…]