Focusing on Myself

I just remembered Brad’s on a date with a new woman. He’s been gone almost three hours now, and I just realized it. I consider that progress. In the past I’ve been anxious from the moment he starts getting ready to the moment he tells me the whole story the next day.

But little by little I’m getting better. I’m calming down and breathing. I’m enjoying doing my own thing and not noticing his absence so much.

He hates when I talk about him rather than focus on myself, but I have to say I am happy for him.

(I was tempted to say I was proud of him, but he would perceive that as patronizing.)

But I really am happy for him. I’m happy he’s finding the courage to break out of our (wow, I meant to say “his,” but “our” is appropriate) shell (I still haven’t fully broken out of mine) and be vulnerable (I haven’t fully figured out how to be vulnerable myself).

I guess what I should say is I’m happy for us. I’m happy we are finding our way out of the tough shells we all create to protect ourselves from getting hurt in the tough world we’ve created. I’m happy we are finding the courage to take a chance at more love, more fun, more connection and more joy, despite all the risks.

I love you Brad. I love you too Sara. Goodnight.

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