Eating My Cake

11665570_10103202333684542_2755666626063516797_nI’ve been focusing a lot on the importance of freedom lately. I just want to quickly acknowledge the value of security as well.

I feel so lucky and blessed (in a non-religious way) to have this new-found freedom to explore relationships/connections with untold numbers of people and simultaneously to have the security, familiarity and comfort of an old, established love with my best friend, Brad.

In addition to Brad, I am now quickly developing a second friendship/romance/alliance with Clark. I can’t express how awesome this is. It’s like they complement/balance each other perfectly.

On the one hand I have my dashing, manly, tough guy, libertarian, chef, who likes football and wrestling, who’s super honest and brave enough to be himself, and on the other hand, I have a sensitive, affectionate, mature, open-minded and enlightened gentleman, who reads the same books, listens to the same gurus and plays my favorite kind of music.

I love talking to both of them, for hours, about everything under the sun, and am enriched by their different perspectives. I love making love with both of them – although I’ve only had one in-the-flesh encounter with Clark – for some of the same and some of the opposite reasons.

I love having a constant pen pal, whom I can strike up a conversation with anytime Brad is away or watching a gory movie. I love having my two angels – Brad and our daughter – to fall asleep next to each night and wake up next to each morning. I love talking to Brad about Clark while chopping vegetables for the food truck. I love talking to Clark about Brad, while Brad’s sitting right next to me on the couch.

I love the openness, the honesty, the lack of shame and guilt. I love the feeling that the love in my life is multiplying and expanding, not being taken away or transferred.

I love that not only Brad is feeling more comfortable about me having relationships with other people, but that Clark was excited about the idea of it before he even met me!

I love that Clark told me all the details of his dates with another woman last week, and that both he and Brad seem interested in my advice about what women want – hell if I know! I love that I didn’t feel jealous at all, but rather the same compersion and thrill I’ve felt for Brad during each of his dates.

I love that even though I’m in the process of getting to know a second man as intimately as I know my first, I am still free to meet and date and potentially fall for others.

I love that I finally have a touch of experience to dissect at my polyamory book club. I love that I have a polyamory book club, and meetup group! I love that I have polyamorous friends who are not freaked out by me, and who are not afraid that I’m just trying to have sex with them… and who probably wouldn’t be even if I did want to someday! Ha!

maxresdefaultIn short, I am loving that I am totally having my cake and eating it too! And I’m not ashamed, and I couldn’t care less what the grumpy, crotchety, stuffy, sexually frustrated, miserable Bible beaters have to say. I can say all that stuff about them because I was one of them once.

Love to all, and to all a good night!