Calling Brad’s Bluff

Brad said he wanted me to move out this morning. It’s about the dozenth time he’s played this game, so I have little doubt he’ll change his mind in the next 24 hours, but this time I’m going to call his bluff. Ever since my friend Amy gave me the good advice of calling Ben’s … [Read more…]

Caring Less… Breaking Free

Brad just disappeared, after we’ve been fighting all day. I’m trying not to care, and my not caring act almost feels genuine. I mean why the fuck would I care? Where could he possibly be that it would matter? He’s home now, I think, and I’m almost disappointed he’s back. Maybe he isn’t. Doesn’t matter. … [Read more…]

Why I Can’t Leave

I guess it basically comes down to fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of losing the familiar. Fear of hurting him. Fear of being alone. Fear of hurting my daughter. Fear of losing my identity. Fear of freedom. Because, my friend was right – it’s easier to be a slave. I’m a really well-treated slave… … [Read more…]

Torn

I’m letting my desire burn me into the ground, as I heard my guru’s friend say one time. It’s not often I deny myself sexual satisfaction by giving up too easily on pursuing one of my lovers. But tonight one of those lovers – Ben – has expressed to me that I’ve crossed his boundaries … [Read more…]

Stop Shaming Men for Having a Sex Drive

In many progressive social circles, where slut-shaming women is rightfully frowned upon, men are still the victims of a similar sexual shaming  – we’ll call it “creep shaming” – in which men are called “creeps” or “jerks” every time they admit to finding multiple women sexually attractive “Oh yeah, rub it in,” my boyfriend said … [Read more…]

An Inconvenient Truth

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I have to break the news to Brad today that I had sex with Ben again the other night. I don’t normally keep secrets from him. I’ve always told him by morning if I’ve been intimate with Ben. But it happened right after a pretty traumatic event for Brad Saturday night (which I’ve written about … [Read more…]